I still sometimes wish she came with a users manual
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This last weekend we were visiting family and Adelyn had just fallen asleep. I said "she's going to wake up in 30-45 minutes and act like she's wide awake, but she just needs to be soothed back to sleep".....needless to say, 35 minutes later she woke up....but they got her up and started playing with her. I sat by thinking "she's going to get crabby and harder to get back to sleep....". I don't know why I didn't say anything...I should have....because Addy got fussy about 10 minutes later and I had to fight with her for the next 20 minutes to get her to go back to sleep. I said in passing later "she needed to go back to sleep when she woke up earlier" and my family member (whom I love and respect) said "oh she was fine"....I wanted to say "no! she wasn't! she needed to keep sleeping!" I wish I would have....but I just let it go. Adelyn likes her pacifier....for years--after observing some of my mom's daycare babies--I decided I would let my kids have a pacifier only to sleep and calm down when they got super cranky....and that's what we've done with Adelyn. When she gets really tired or cranky, the pacifier helps calm her down and she falls alseep alot easier.
I know that some people grew up thinking pacifiers were "bad" or just "not necessary"...but our daughter likes hers so what's the big deal? Still...I've had people hold her when I've gotten her calmed down....she has her pacifier...they take it out and say something like "you don't need that" or "let's take this out" and she starts fussing within a few minutes and I just want to say "I told you so". Today I dropped her off in the dayare while I went to the gym. She was getting tired and needing to go to sleep... and the lady in the room said "she's not going to need her pacifier, I'll get her to sleep without it"....I just shrugged and let it go...when I came back in Addy had her pacifier and I asked if they got her to sleep without it (knowing that they did not) and she said "she was fussing for a good 10 minutes...I gave it to her and she was out within seconds". I had to bite back my tongue from saing " I told you so".
Writing out these events has encouraged me b/c it reminds me that Nick and I are getting to know our daughter. They are also reminding me that I need to speak up more often. Adelyn is our daughter, our responsibility and I can't just "let it go" anymore. This is where it gets tough because I am not good with speaking up when I should. There are still alot of moments when we have no idea what she wants and we just have to let her cry it out a bit and try again later....but we are getting there and I am so grateful. :)
3 comments:
Hey Abby! Hang in there, it's so hard when other people think they know your baby better than you. Corbin uses a pacifier and I'm totally fine with it:) It helps a ton!! And the napping thing (waking up after 30-45 mins) is totally normal, and you're right, she needs to go back to sleep (with a little help)!:) Hope you guys are enjoying every minute of your little beauty!
Andrea Doll
I can totally relate to the way you're feeling about people disrespecting your role as mother. Doesn't it feel good, though, when Adelyn proves you right?! :-) You're a great Mommy. Just keep doing what you feel is right for your daughter! :-)
ok, joy andrews told me that babies have an actual need to suck on something for their first 6 months of life, and then after tham you can start taking it away. with renae, around 6 months were were moving to virginia, and then overseas a month later so we didn't feel that was a good time to take it away. then one day when she was aroun 9 months old, we realized her pacifier was nowhere to be found, and we were not at home. so she went to bed without it and cried more that night than almost any ohter night of her life. since we didn't have one we could give her, we just had to let her cry. well the next day, that was the end of that, and she didn't need a pacifier after that. it took one night of her wishing she had it, but because she was past that 6 month stage, she herself realized she didn't really need it. i hope that helps and lets you know it/s OK to give your 3 month old a paci!! she needs it right now! :)
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