a real moment...

This morning at church, I noticed that Nick was irritated with me. I went through events of the morning and for the life of me I could not figure out what was bothering him. I asked him what was wrong. He replied "I'm frustrated with you". I asked why. He said to me "you are a different person at church. It's like you're trying to be religious or something".
I was shocked. I had no idea what he was talking about. The only thing I had done was said hi to people and walked in to find my seat. Needless to say, this hurt so bad I spent the rest of the service crying (and trying to hide it from everyone around us). The entire time I was trying to figure out what I had did that would make him say something like that.
When church was over, we went straight for the door and went home. I was still trying to stop crying (hormones were part of it, I think)...by this point I was so hurt I was angry. The last 2 years had been a struggle for me to come out of my shell and meet people...I feel I had made some great strides the last few months...I have met some amazing women and am finally excited about where we are at in our relationship to our church...his saying those words crushed that and I could feel myself crawling backwards into my shell.
We didn't talk for a few hours after we were home....he was doing some work in the garage and I fell asleep on the couch. I don't think either of us knew where to start. About 2:30pm I was reading a book and he comes into the room and sits down next to me and says "I'm sorry". I really appreciated it, but I wanted to know what I had done for him to say those words to me. He said that he didn't know. He was just frustrated and said the first thing that had come to his mind....there was no basis for what he said and he was sorry.
After a bit more talking we reconciled and I felt a little better. The whole "religious" comment bothered me b/c that is the last thing I want to portray at church. I don't want to walk into church with a smile on my face and say words that will impress people and let them think I'm doing okay when I'm not. I don't think I do that....I think that we do a pretty good job of letting people see how we really are...but I know that there are times too when I've been in a horrible mood and have covered it up when we are around other people...more so so I don't embarass my husband with my crabby mood.... :)
Anyway...I feel like I'm starting to ramble now...but I really want to stress that I want to be real. I think it's good for people to see other believers having a hard day....or in a bad mood... because everyone has their moments and it's nice to feel like you are not the only one.
As for right now...Nick's words were hurtful, but we both came away from it with some thoughts and we were able to learn together. It's through days like today that our marriage has been strengthened and I know by the grace of God it will continue to be that way. I'm thankfujl that we are able to share what we learn (and how we learned it) with other people so that they can see the grace of God in our life...