female/male

Nick and I have always joke that we play the reverse of the traditional male/female roles.

He likes to talk about anything and everything...more specifically his feelings, thoughts and emotions. I, however, would rather think through what I'm thinking/feeling than share (there are exceptions in everything, though, where I am more the female and he's more the male :)).

He's generally more emotional that I am...although there are definitely times when I am the emotional one and he thinks I'm going nuts (pregnancy was a major reversal of emotions).

He gets mad at me because I get in "the zone" when I'm on the computer or reading a book. He or I has to shut it off or take the book away b/c I can't pay attention to what he's saying and do what I'm doing at the same time. I get frustrated with him b/c EVERYTHING is a big deal. He nags at my driving to the point where I won't drive with him in the car anymore. He picks up after ME....AFTER I spent most of the day (between taking care of Adelyn) cleaning the house and putting things away.

We have spent the last 3 1/2 years figuring out how to "deal" with each other...how the other one works...how to love the other person the way they need to be loved.

Having Adelyn definitely has changed everything (as those with kids already know). On top of that, Nick has been working on getting his masters in Agronomy from ISU (go Cyclones!) and spends alot of nights studying. Between his studying and our taking care of Adelyn...we have had nill time alone. Nick has said a few times he feels like we're just roommates right now.

Of course I got irritated b/c at the time I thought he was implying it was my fault (this was the female side of me)...then I thought he was exaggerating and over analyzing (the "male" side of me). That night I was more aware of our time. After Addy was in bed, I grabbed my book and he sat on the other side of the room studying. I got to thinking that he was right. We were in the same room, but not talking. Part of me was completely fine with this...especially since he needs the quiet to study for class. Another part of me started to miss the nights we would sit and talk...or have time just to be together...

We went (FINALLY) on our first date since February this last weekend. Zeb and Bekah came over with Claire to watch Addy for us (thank you thank you!). It was suddenly so weird to me to be alone together...but I loved it. We went downtown to eat and were able to sit and talk. The minute we sat down, Nick said, "conversation about Adelyn is off limits". :)

Where am I going with all this? I do not know. I guess this is just me getting my thoughts out there so I can sort them out better :) Nick and I knew before Adelyn was born that our time together was going to change and be in short supply...but it still catches you off guard.

You know those people you see at restaurants who go through their ENTIRE meal without saying a word? I don't want to become like that. I know we won't always have something to talk about (and I'm completely fine with that)...but I don't want to lose our connection. I want to stay connected with my husband...and I don't want him to be just my "roommate".

With that thought...this is where I have to go beyond my "comfort zone" and be more willing to talk about anything and everything...even when he thinks its a big deal and I definitely don't. :)