...exhausting...challenging...rewarding (in the end...)
I'm still trying to figure out how to discipline Adelyn so she learns....we are learning what works for her. Spanking and smacking her hand doesn't do a whole lot, she looks at us like, "what the he** are you doing?"....Time out and taking her away from what she's doing seems to do the trick. She doesn't like being taken away from the social activity and sitting by herself with no interaction...
I've seen every example under the sun....I've seen moms absentmindely say "no no, honey..." while on their phone and then just letting it go...I've seen moms wack their kid on the hand for not taking a bite of food....I've seen moms calmly take their screaming child and put them in time-out and then go back to their task without skipping a beat...believe me, with all my years of nannying and babysitting (with a mom doing in-home dayce care, you get ALOT of references..) :) I have seen (and heard) it all.
We don't spank often because my biggest fear is that we will do it in the midst of our frustration and take it out on her and lose control *shudder* We don't just let things go (all the time)....I am learning to choose my battles, though :) I mean really, is it a big deal if she only eats 2 bites of veggies instead of 4? At least she's eating them at all.
It's a tough balance because although I require her obedience, I want her to learn and understand rather than be afraid of us....we don't want to be super strict and rigid to the point where our child rebels (believe me, I had friends who did because their parents were just unbending and ungracious), but neither do we want to be "ho-hum" and lackadaisical (oh yes, I did).....discipline is exhausting...the other day I had Adelyn in time-out 5 times before 10am...I could have just let the issue go because it wasn't a big deal, but I knew that she wouldn't learn if I gave up...it took 5 times, alot of tantrums and tears, but she figured it out and we haven't had to deal with it since. I mean come on, she's two.....
Anyway, I saw
this post on someone else's blog, and I really appreciate that this woman can put into words what I'm thinking. My sister in law,
Steph, works for the ministry Family Matters and has given me a few parents books (
Graced Based Parenting and
Raising Kids for True Greatness) that her boss, Tim Kimmel, wrote...I've started the first one numerous times, but never finished...I have a feeling from the title, that he may be along the same lines, so I'm thinking I may be picking that one back up with fresh eyes ;)
Anyway....everyone has their own style of discipline because every child is different....just remember that because I don't discipline the same way as you doesn't mean that I'm wrong and you are right (or vice versa)... it means that our kids are different and we are learning what works best for them.
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