family

So I know...this is my second blog in less than 24 hours...but I've been sitting stewing on something and I just need to share.

After Nick and I were married, the next big question was "when are you having kids?" and then "how many kids do you want?"....my answer always was (and still is) 4-5 kids. The look of shock or pity would inevitably follow along with "good luck" or "really? why?".

I grew up with 3 younger brothers...while I didn't always like them tailing around me...I love bigger families. After my mom remarried 7 years ago...my step-dad's 4 kids joined the brood.... now 3 of them are married which makes 7 kids and then there are 2 granddaughters in the mix. Christmas and Thanksgiving is INSANE....but I LOVE IT.

Anyway...back to my thought. A few months ago, I was on my way home from work and they were interviewing someone (I don't remember) and they were talking about American priorities versus the rest of the world and how Muslims outnumber true Christians by more than 50%...the comment he made has stuck with me. He said "one of the reasons there are less true believers in America is because of our skewed priorities. Americans are so caught up in saving, wanting and keeping that to make up for that, they are having less children...maybe 1 or 2...so they still have more money, things, time for themselves. Muslims in America outnumber Christians by more than half. They value family and belief first...having more children and therefore raising that many more Muslims"....

Okay, so I didn't get the quote exactly right, but the point is still the same. I completely agree with him. When Nick and I got engaged we found there were people who were concerned with where we stood financially...could we afford to get married?

Then when talking about kids, people would say "wait and save your money...get financially stable first...kids are expensive". Nick and I did plan on waiting about 3 years before trying to start a family...obviously God had a different plan in mind. :)

Anyway...I got so tired of the "financial" conversation. No, Nick and I aren't swimming in dough...but we are okay. Even if we were expecting triplets right now instead of one baby, we would be FINE....stressed, but fine :) God always provides...even when we are having a hard time trusting that He will....I know it would mean more skimmed down living....but that doesn't matter! I want a large family because I love the thought of having so many to love...but another reason is, I want a large family to give more soldiers of the Lord back to God. I want to multiply our family so that we have that many more believers to send out into the world. I pray that the kids we are able to have will come to love the Lord...that they will give their hearts, souls and minds to Him....but more importantly, HIS WILL BE DONE.

Now, I'm not saying that people who want or have 1, 2, 0r 3 kids are in the wrong...not by any means. Some people may not have the patience for alot of kids...maybe that's all they want because that's all they want....or they want to use their money and time to go overseas or serve the Lord and are able to better do that with a small family. Whatever the reason....it's their choice!

I'm stating why I want a large family and why I want people to stop being so shocked and acting like it's this insanely crazy thing for me to want that!

Ask Nick where he stands on this and the thought of that many kids makes his face go white, but at the same time...I think our being pregnant now has shown him a love he hasn't experienced yet and maybe the Lord will change his heart and he may want more than 3 or 4.

Anyway...I have more thoughts on this, but I think I've said enough. In the meantime, I'm thankful for the baby growing inside of me. It's been amazing to see Nick be so excited to be a dad and meet his daughter...I know he's willing to do this again :)

....maybe we can compromise on 4. :)

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almost 29 weeks...

...and counting...we have 11 1/2 weeks left. I can't believe how time has flown. My body has changed so much in the last weeks....I see how puffy my face is in these pictures :) Oh well...God's design, right? Anyway....we're excited and can't wait to meet our baby girl...parenthood is going to be interesting. I'm not reading parenting books, though. Too many theories and ideas. I figured between the women in our small group, women at church, my mom, Nick's mom, aunts and grandparents...we have more than enough people to ask questions and learn from....There is one book I want to read, though, and it's called To Train a Child. It's on discipline and--more specifically--spanking...anyway...I'll let you know how it goes. :)

Oh, check this out...my mom found a tub with my brothers' and my old baby clothes...she showed me the little pink dress she brought me home in...it's a premie dress...so tiny! I was 6 weeks early and 12 days in the NICU...I was a little over 4 pounds....how crazy?! Anyway....I can't believe how little this dress is......the picture doesn't do it justice....

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congratulations Travis & Angela!!

So Sunday night at small group, Travis and Angela announced that God has blessed them with a new addition to their family! They have 2 children Abel and Amariah...and little Ande Lynn is crawling around with Jesus right now....
We are so excited for you two. Your faith and trust in the Lord has been so encouraging and we are so thankful for you.
Congratulations! :)

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the tale of the glider...

Today Nick put together the glider that his mom got us as a baby gift (thank you, Ardyce!).

He then enjoyed the fruits of his labors :)

We rearranged the guest room so the glider would fit....the pack-n-play aka: baby's bed is going to be opposite the foot of the bed......finally we're getting somewhere :)

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it's only just a matter of trust

Back in high school and the beginnings of college, I was pretty outgoing. I loved meeting people, I loved making new friends....then along the way my personality changed...suddenly I'm scared to death of meeting new people, I prefered staying at home rather than going to be with others...
It's something I still struggle with now. Nick and I have been going to our church for 2 years now and I am just becoming comfortable and starting to make friends....don't get me wrong, there are some amazing people that I've met these last 2 years, but I don't know how to connect anymore and get so frustrated with myself that I feel it's easier just to get out of the way...
Some people talk about these major trials in their lives and how God used them to teach these people to rely on him...I feel like this is mine. It's definitely not a major trial by any means, but it is definitely something that I feel the Lord is using to teach me to trust Him.
It's taking me out of my comfort zone to go to group "events" or "get togethers"...meeting one on one is something I fear (but also love) b/c I'm afraid there won't be anything to talk about!
I know this sounds so ridiculous and jumbled....I'm sort of just thinking "out loud".
I want to develop friendships and continue to deepen them instead of leaning toward my tendence to shy away after a while. Unfortunately, I have "driven" away friendships b/c of my fears...
I get so frustrated with myself because I so badly want to be the outgoing person I used to be. It was so much easier that way! I know God is teaching me something and this will probably be something I struggle with for the rest of my life. I'm so thankful for Nick b/c he is the opposite and is so great at encouraging me to go be with people...
anyway....I was just thinking "out loud" ...
I pray that God will continue to teach me to trust Him....

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where we live...

So I love our home. Nick and I are blessed the house we do for being out of school for just under 4 years. However, recent events have made me not like the area our house is in. If I could pick it up and move it somewhere else I would.
Let me elaborate...
Just over a year ago we had a drunk driver run into our neighbor's front doors. It was about 1:30am and I was awake b/c I was working nights that week. I heart squealing of tires of and a loud crash...and our house shook...then I smelled burning rubber. I woke up Nick. Called 911 for the first time in my life and went outside to see what was going on...along with the rest of our neighbors. Our next door neighbor, Stephanie, was unfortunately stuck in her house with a truck in her front door. The driver had run (the police eventually caught up with him at his home). It was a long night needless to say....now whenever I hear tires squealing I tense up... you would think people would quit taking that first turn into our area so fast...I'm just waiting for one of the neighbor's kids to get hit next!
Then this summer we had some college kids move into the house across from us and behind us. They are loud. They get drunk and are obnoxious some nights. A few weeks ago there was a very loud shouting match involving some of them right outside our house....second time I have called 911.
Last night there were 3 police cars parked outside our house for about an hour. I don't know what was going on, but we heard them talking to one of the kids about second offense for underage drinking...I don't know if they were having a party that we luckily didn't hear or what....
anyway...I'm over it. I don't like the thought of being home by myself with my daughter with these freak0-s around here. I'm sure it happens in other neighborhoods too, but seriously. This is my home and I shouldn't have to be afraid....or woken up at 3am by yelling kids...or drunk drivers driving into houses...

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happy one year anniversary, Kyle and Sara!

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