it's only just a matter of trust

Back in high school and the beginnings of college, I was pretty outgoing. I loved meeting people, I loved making new friends....then along the way my personality changed...suddenly I'm scared to death of meeting new people, I prefered staying at home rather than going to be with others...
It's something I still struggle with now. Nick and I have been going to our church for 2 years now and I am just becoming comfortable and starting to make friends....don't get me wrong, there are some amazing people that I've met these last 2 years, but I don't know how to connect anymore and get so frustrated with myself that I feel it's easier just to get out of the way...
Some people talk about these major trials in their lives and how God used them to teach these people to rely on him...I feel like this is mine. It's definitely not a major trial by any means, but it is definitely something that I feel the Lord is using to teach me to trust Him.
It's taking me out of my comfort zone to go to group "events" or "get togethers"...meeting one on one is something I fear (but also love) b/c I'm afraid there won't be anything to talk about!
I know this sounds so ridiculous and jumbled....I'm sort of just thinking "out loud".
I want to develop friendships and continue to deepen them instead of leaning toward my tendence to shy away after a while. Unfortunately, I have "driven" away friendships b/c of my fears...
I get so frustrated with myself because I so badly want to be the outgoing person I used to be. It was so much easier that way! I know God is teaching me something and this will probably be something I struggle with for the rest of my life. I'm so thankful for Nick b/c he is the opposite and is so great at encouraging me to go be with people...
anyway....I was just thinking "out loud" ...
I pray that God will continue to teach me to trust Him....